panic attack

Which is exactly what I give myself when I see my blog so overdated, my laundry piled up high, my house in shambles, and my to do list getting accepted into the Museum of Useless Objects.  I'm still bitter about Mr. Daylight Savings stealing an hour from my weekend, and I'm trying to figure out when I can rebel and add it back into one of my Saturdays!

We're expecting #5 in August, a boy (yay!), and as my last post states, we are still in Middle Ground.  The tension is mounting as our realtor is showing us house after house after house... I think pretty soon here she's going to be willing to pony up our down payment just to get rid of us.

There's a transformation that we've gone through as we've searched for homes.  First, you compile the Dream List.  You've been pre-approved for a certain price and you go crazy.  You look at houses at the limit, and maybe just a few thousand dollars more, or maybe $25,000 more, because come on.  The economy's in the crapper, right?

Then you start crunching numbers.  Or your husband does.  Then he says, "Honey, do you realize the mortgage payment on this is $XXXX and if we actually paid that every month we would have no food or electricity?  So I adjust the list.  Down a few thousand dollars.  Or more.

Meanwhile, our realtor is taking us out house hunting, and she's very fun, pleasant, and easy going.  She's going to make bank off of us, why shouldn't she?

Awhile later, and for some people it's longer than others (for me, reality took longer to soak in), you realize that your Dream List is evolving into Houses We Like That Are Almost in Our Price Range. (Dream House List is put aside for later)  I drop the prices down a few more thousand.  Or more.

Realtor is showing us homes, pleasant, maybe she seems a little tired?  Or is that frustration? After about two dozen houses, Josh and I realize, we have differing opinions.  Wha?!?  He DOESN'T appreciate the 70's style homes?  When did this happen?  And seriously, he's considering a house that I can't distinguish if the carpet smell truly is from the chemical carpet cleaner or from the past owner's philandering cat?

We are at the point now where we are looking at homes WELL within our price range, and instead of looking at the crown moulding, granite countertops, tray ceilings, and "bonus" rooms, I'm making sure there is more than one bathroom, that there is no odor, and maybe a fenced backyard? 

Now the realtor is emailing us when we ask to see a house, probably wondering, really?  You guys are still here?  A few more houses and I'm sure we'll have her so worn down she will cough up that earnest money for us.

Lastly, we are VERY blessed to be able to be in the position to buy a home at this point in the economy, and we can really afford some nice places in my opinion, so I don't want to sound ungrateful.  This whole process has really been a journey for me, more than I thought it would.  And I think not having a deadline has been tough too, I hate to say it, but I'm one of THOSE. 

Thanks to Baby Luke Skywalker J. (the kids have named the new baby), we now have a deadline.  August 12th or bust.  Until then, I'll try to keep everyone updated, so keep me on your Christmas Card list!

Gypsies

We've moved a couple times over the past year, and as of now we are still in "temporary housing", looking for that ever elusive Dream House.  You know... Several acres of farmland surrounded by woods, a large two story farm house with the wrap around porch and out of this world outdoor kitchen, raised garden beds, and of course the Hilton of chicken coops.  Many bedrooms for our plethora of children and anticipated guests, a huge kitchen with a walk in pantry I can do cartwheels in.... Rooms with wood stoves and

SO after a few months of looking, and living in a house (I am extremely grateful for) that I feel is lacking a few key items, I'm taking another look at my list of dreams and rethinking things.  Here is my NEW list of must haves for my Dream House:

1.  More than one bathroom.  Right now we have one toilet and six bums.  This isn't working well.  Especially since a couple of us use the lavatory as a place of refuge.  Privacy would be nice too.

2.  A washer and dryer INSIDE.  In our old house we had our washer and dryer in the garage.  Brrr... We moved somewhere this past spring where it was indoors, and I felt like a pioneer who just got electricity.  Not bundling up in parkas and boots to change the laundry?  Inspired.  That lasted a few months, and now I'm back to the garage for washing clothes.  I AM grateful I'm not dipping and whipping my clothes against rocks in a frozen river, but if I ever had to do that, I think I'd be aight.

3.  A pro-heat husband.  Granted this isn't something I can find in my Dream House, but I can always dream that one day Josh will crank up the heat and it'll be a balmy 72 degrees, day or night.  Until then I'll keep heating bricks in the fire and putting them at the foot of my bed. (He DID give me a heating pad for Christmas, so he's thoughful.  I'll keep him.)

4.  Windows.  Yes, I guess if you go by the literal definition of windows, this house DOES have them.  But, when the wind blows outside, are my blinds supposed to sway?  Did you know that Josh and I can carry on a normal conversation with each other, with our voices at a normal volume....when I'm sitting on the couch in the house and he's in the front yard?!?  True. Story.  Come over, you can try it for yourself.  The kids and I joke our windows are from Little House on the Prairie era.  The funny thing is, it's probably no joke at all.

So there's my list.  Short.  Sweet.  I don't think it's too extravagant.  So as we continue to house hunt, these are the all important things I'm keeping in mind.  And you know, the chicken coop, too.

Love

This past summer, as we're driving from Cedar City to Idaho Falls, my brother Michael and I decide to take a pit stop at the Salt Lake Temple Square.  In my head pops the image of my children walking reverently, pondering all the quotes and reading material at each site, singing or humming as we leisurely stroll from place to place, and of course, singing in harmony the song "I Love to See the Temple" when we reach the temple doors.  Oh reality, how I love thee.

Here are a couple photos, that seem to appear that yes, my children were calm, loving, and kind to others, especially their siblings.  And really, I could leave it at that.

But the real low down.  I of course, forgot my stroller.  So we were walking.  Strike one.

Strike two.  It was about 4:30pm when we hit Temple Square.  Did I have a sack full of goodies or dinner?  No. 

And strike three.  I was tired from driving.  Oh so tired.

BUT.  We did enjoy our few hours there, and I think we all felt the spirit when we listened to the recording at the Christus inside the visitor's center.  And the kids were awed at how HUGE the temple was, and how they made it with their hands and no big machines like we have now.

We did get to see the Joseph Smith movie (missed the first 20 minutes of the movie, which, if you didn't know the story, pretty pivotal...but we explained) and the kids were all still through that, and I think they have a greater appreciation for Joseph Smith and his sacrifices.  (Liam was shouting a few questions to me when it was pretty quiet on screen, like "Is he dead?"  "Are there dinosaurs in this movie?")

And luckily I had a few Odwalla bars in my purse to pull us through to McDonalds (and a few starlight mints I'd collected from Sonic and thrown in my purse--who knew those would be so handy!)

Since then, the kids and I have talked about how fun that little trip was, and how neat it was to see where the prophet works, and all the other sights.

It was a great seed planted in my children's testimonies, and we all want to go back with Daddy and stay a little longer.

Minus the tantrum on the grass in front of the crowd....

and in the museum.

With more food.

And a stroller.

And Mommy more rested.

All together as an eternal family trying to do the best we know how.

A New Day

Wow, lots has happened! We've moved into a nice cozy little rental, which I love. We've got a lot of our stuff in boxes in the garage (in anticipation of another move into a bigger place), so just the basics in the house, and I think that's why I love it. It's so refreshing not to be bogged down by a lot of "stuff." I told Josh after a couple months of this, I might just throw away half the boxes of stuff out there. His eyes lit right up!

We've had a whirlwind of a summer, and it shouldn't be over yet. So it's not. We're not going to start school until next week, even though co-op starts up this week. We need some time to just relax, enjoy, and be lazy. Did I say we? I meant me. While Josh has plugged away at work, I've been driving to Idaho, Southern Utah, back to Idaho, packing, moving stuff. It's been great to have family to visit and the means to do so--what a blessing.

I had a visit from my sister Rose and family, and then we drove over there and visited them. My littlest brother left for his mission this summer (to Scotland-Ireland). My J sisters and Mom J and I went on a fun little weekend known as The Appleseed Project (more to come on that later).

I also had a little surprise visit from my dear BFF Teesha, and we played games, went to the science center, and did I mention I schooled her in Phase 10?? She's so much fun, I keep trying to talk her and her family into moving next door to us. I don't know why she doesn't want to leave SoCal...

Then my dear friends and family who helped us pull together a move in record time, my heart is full of gratitude to you all for helping me pack, clean, watch kids, bring food, move, unpack... I'm so so thankful for each one of you. SO grateful. We're becoming a bit nomadic it seems, but at least we're not living in a tent, right?

All in all it's been an exhaustingly happy summer, and now it's time to get serious again about tending to all my grown up responsibilities. You know, like blogging. ;)

Updating

Since it's 1am and I'm posting on my blog, that's never a good sign. You never know WHAT will come out of my mouth.

I'll start back in March, we went on a weekend getaway with two other couples, staying at a 3rd couples house, making 4 ADULT couples together. If our kids would've been there, it would've added I think 17 kids to the mix? But the kids were with Grandma and Grandpa, and Josh and I were able to sleep in, go to a "grown ups" concert, and be pampered and spoiled by Karen and her killer hosting skills and food. It was great, we were/are all friends from college, and it was fun and sometimes crazy to reminisce about the old days. Wow, crazy to think it was so long ago, but I have to say we all look exactly the same!!! Thank you guys for the great time! I wish we could do it every month.

The whole weekend, and maybe 8 cameras (including phone cameras), and no pictures were taken as far as I know. So this one is as close as I could get:

new mommy

My littlest sister had her baby a few weeks ago--yay congratulations!!!....and as much as I dislike this photo of me, it's the only one with my eyes not doing the funky half shut thingy I do with most photos. Of course, Amber looks great. So stare at her. She had her little baby girl, Kambrie, and has entered that zombie-like state known as "mother of a newborn". Poor poor Amber. Just seeing her posts on Facebook make me cringe at the thought of doing it all over again. And I'm not saying I am, so please, no announcements here. Just remembering the late nights, early mornings, surviving on 3 hours of sleep or so sometimes...If I lived closer, I'd do the nighttime bottle feedings for Amber though. Did you know Cheers comes on at 2am? That's a great show! While I was up for nights on end with Aria, or maybe it was Liam as a newborn, I watched about 3 seasons of "24" in mere days.
Those were the times! Now I can barely cram in a half hour of good tv in my day.
Funny thing is, time does fly, and even though the nights were long and tiresome, I do miss that sweet cuddly stage, where baby would snuggle all night long in my arms, they'd sleep anywhere and through anything, they looked like they were thinking thoughts of heaven, and smelled so wonderful.... I may just have to head to Amber's for a baby fix... :)

liam's a year older!

Can you believe my little boy is three now?! I feel like Foghorn Leghorn sayin, "Well, I say, I say, I can't believe it." (I miss Looney Tunes)I let him pick out his own cake flavor and frosting. Guess what. Chocolate, with chocolate. He LOVES chocolate. I like to think that's from his mother.

We went roller skating, which may not have been his idea, but do you know how hard it is to find a REAL running train in the middle of January in this area? Besides the Amtrak that costs an arm and a leg? He loved skating, especially the green slushy he got towards the end. Yum...pure sugar.

The skating place was great, you can bring a stroller right out on the floor, so the three big kids got skates with Dad, and I got to keep my shoes on and push Aria around in the stroller. Ended up being me pushing the stroller, Ammon and Liam on each side holding on for dear life, Shayla sitting IN the stroller after she smashed her finger and refused to go on, and Aria just maxin and relaxin.

Liam is SUCH a fun kid to be around. His little raspy voice telling me interesting tidbits of info all day...like the location of every garbage truck in his visual field, as well as any bobtail (a semitruck without a trailer), stories of dinosaurs stealing his socks and shoes, how Lightning McQueen can do anything, and the best are the hugs and "I love you's" all day long. Happy birthday little Liam!